I’m not just a mom:

I have really struggled this week with who I am.

I have really struggled with seeing younger females accomplish things that I wish I would have 10 years ago. If you’ve read my recent blog called “My Dreams For The Future Me“, then you understand some of the hopes and dreams that I had when I was younger. Just because I’m almost 30 and have 2 kids doesn’t mean that my dreams are over. And it also doesn’t mean that they are unreachable. It just means things are more complicated. As awesome as families are they make things complicated. So I really struggled this week with who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to do when I grow up.

Part of me feels stupid and silly for having an identity crisis with my future. I’m still pretty young, but it’s very internally conflicting when you see other people pursuing your dreams that you wish you would have 10 years ago; before things got complicated. Part of me wishes that I would have joined the military at 18 or even at 22, after college; gone the officer route. I wish that I would have pursued a career in law enforcement or one of the three-letter agencies. I wish that I would have done a lot of things when I was younger. But life isn’t always how we plan it out to be right. Life is complicated things happen because we make decisions and some things happen that’s beyond our control. One of my favorite sayings is that you are free to make your own decisions but you are not free to choose the consequences of your actions. This is annoyingly applicable and my situation.

I made decisions when I was younger that didn’t allow parts of my dreams to happen. Some of them got replaced with new dreams. Some of those dreams still linger out there. So what do we do about this? I find myself telling myself that “you’re JUST a mom, surely you can accomplish more in the day/week/life.” I find myself stressing myself out because I must be amazing at everything because I’m “just a mom”. I find myself working myself to the bone because I’m “just a mom”. I find myself putting productivity over hanging out with my kids because I’m “just a mom”. I find myself saying YES to things that I should say No to (for the wellbeing of my family) because I’m “just a mom”. Well, screw that business. I am just so tired of trying so hard to be something that is unnecessary to the needs of my family; whether in that moment of just unnecessary in general. Like seriously, who decides to learn code so she can make her own website instead of just paying a professional to do it and get the 37 hours of their life back…. guilty.

I’m not JUST a mom! I am a mother. I (we) have conceived, carried, birthed two amazing little boys. I help my husband run his schedule and keep on top of his to-do’s because of his TBI that affects his memory. I run a house like clockwork (most of the time). I keep on top of laundry, bills, school lunches, making sure they have clothing that fits, managing the garden. I also started our company, by myself. I found insurance, places to print media for us, supply vendors, and clients! I also keep that running smoothly! I balance the multiple accounts we have for business and personal. I AM AN AWESOME FIREARMS INSTRUCTOR! I teach guys, ladies, moms, dads, widows, widowers, singles, grandmas, grandpas, and now kids, how to defend themselves with a firearm! I’m NOT JUST a mom!

Now whether you have a side job, a full-time job, sell Avon, Beachbody, Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Lipsense, or are a virtual assistant or just run your house the best you can, we’re all called to be equally good mothers! We all do what we have to do in that moment. Sometimes, you need to eat a candy bar as your hiding in the bathroom behind a locked door pretending that you’re going “number 2”, so your kids leave you alone. Other moments we feel like supermom because we’ve done 8 loads of laundry, 2 loads of dishes, the kids are clean, dressed (matching clothes no less), fed something that didn’t come with instructions, and the house DOESN’T look like a scene out of Jumanji. The same principle applies, we try our best and that’s good enough ladies.

I’m not saying any this to toot my own horn or to give you a false sense of accomplishment. All of us moms know that we just do what needs to be done. Simply as that. But we are not JUST mom’s! WE ARE MOTHERS! I’m sure you’ve seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I love that movie because of the scene from the meme below. It’s so true! It’s so vital when we use our “powers” for good instead of evil or personal gain, however. We keep our family’s world revolving. You are not just a mom

Check out these verses:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, and endures all things.”

Psalm 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward.”

Isaiah 49:15, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?”

And the most popular verse on mothers:

Proverbs 31:28. “Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her.”

This post was probably more for me than it was for any of my readers, but I’m sure if you’re a mother then you needed to hear this too. We aren’t just moms. The Lord gives us the ability to make the world go round. He gives us the ability, through HIM, to be the neck and move it in Christ-honoring ways, and help our families survive the chaos. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s ok to let some dreams die and develop new dreams. Some dreams will morph into something entirely different and that’s ok too! We’re capable of changing our minds when the Lord puts something different in our path. Maybe the difference in your path is just motherhood in general!  I never planned on being a mommy, but it’s really the best gift I could ever have been given. It’s worth so much more to me than any other path I could have chosen on my own.

Remember, it’s an honor to be a mommy. It’s an honor to help our littles grow in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, Ephesians 6:4. But, we can have other skills, interests, jobs, also and still be a great mommy.

 

Cheers,

Nila