Day 7: Honesty-even when it hurts to say or hear.

Honesty; is it always the best policy? Yes, but that doesn’t mean we get to be ugly about it. It’s all about speaking the truth in love.

Ephesians 4:15-16 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and help together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”

Did you read that? Speaking the truth in love! Just like we talked earlier, in this study, you need to be your husband’s safe haven. His shelter in the time of the storm. His rock. He needs to know that he can come to you and you’ll be honesty, to the point and most of all, KIND. He needs to know that if he is wrong, that you’ll tell him and be loving about it. It’s been said that husbands are more delicate than women are; their egos are vulnerable and easily bruised. Our husbands need to feel protected. We need to strive DAILY to protect our husband’s masculinity. We can do this by being honest and loving and even re-articulating how we respond to him so he feels more respected.

Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.”

Proverbs 19:1 “Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.”

John 8:32 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Colossians 3:9 “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have to put off the old self with its practices.”

Hebrews 13:18 “Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things.”

Be a wife in integrity. Be the kind of wife that is honest with her husband, lovingly. Trust me when I say if your husband tells you something or asks you something, he expects an honest answer. But if you snap at him and tell him with your tone how stupid he is, he won’t trust you for a very long time. He will have a hard time being open with you and asking your advice. The point of today’s devotional isn’t as much about honesty as it is about being loving. Don’t beat your husband down for having ideas. Don’t beat him up for asking your opinion. Instead of responding like this, “why did you do that?! That was the stupidest idea you’ve ever had! Didn’t you think about the consequences? Look at the mess I have to clean up now!”… We’re all guilty of this from to time. I’ve had to apologize to my husband many times for this knee jerk reaction. Instead of the reaction above try this, “mmmm interesting! May I offer a suggestion? What about this?” Then, lovingly and gently, explain your idea and see what he does. Now remember ladies, he might not take your suggestion and that’s ok. If it’s not life and death, it’s probably not worth fighting over.

My husband and I have fought over how to put the trash bag into the trash can. Before being married to him for over 2 years, did I realize that another human on the earth thought there was a different way to put the trash bag in the trash can. We fought over the stupid trash for 3 days. It’s not worth it ladies. If your husband is the one who mainly takes out the trash, then let him put the stupid trash bag in the can however he wants. It’s not worth the fight.

Be honest. Be loving. Be kind. Be gentle. Be the kind of wife whose husband trusts her.

Proverbs 31:10 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”

Are you this kind of wife?