I don't want a gun in the house

Fears & Myths Dispelled; “I don’t want a gun in the house; I have kids”

April 6, 2016 0 Comments

I don’t want a gun in the house

Each time I step up to teach a class, I always see one women that stands out. She’s the quiet, scared one in the back. She doesn’t ask technical questions, but she asks about every possible worst case scenario that she can think of. She’s scared. She has that burning desire, as all moms do, to protect her children. But, she doesn’t think guns are safe.

She says things like:

  1. “I don’t want to have it in the house; I have kids here.”
  2. “I don’t need a holster if I carry in my purse.”
  3. “I plan on carrying a revolver because they’re small.”
  4. “I carry a .22 because I am faster and more people are killed by a .22.” / “I thought anything bigger than a .22 caliber would be too hard to shoot.”
  5. “I got it because it’s cute.”
  6. “I don’t know anything about guns.”
  7. “I don’t keep the gun loaded in the house.”
  8. “My husband carries so I don’t need too.”
  9. “I just went with what the guy at the gun store suggested.”
  10. “My boobs are too big; they get in the way of shooting.”


I think I’ve heard it all. And what they sound like are excuses born out of fear. To be a good instructor and be relatable, to the point that your clients trust you, you have to be understanding. Not the fake understanding, but actual understanding! So readers, tell me. What is it that keeps you from carrying? Honestly, I want to know.


I am going to try to briefly address each of these points. Hopefully, I can help educate some ladies out there to embrace the fear and learn more about these tools. Because they’re just that… tools. I want to dispel common fears and myths that ladies believe that keep them from better protecting their family.


So the first fear that I am going to dispel is this:

I don’t want to have a gun in the house; I have kids here!

Well, I have kids here too. Two of them on a regular basis and a lot of others visit often enough. It’s all about one word. SAFETY. It’s part of being a responsible adult and a good parent. I’m not saying that if you don’t have a firearm in your home that you’re a good parent. I’m not saying that if you do have a firearm in your own home that you’re a bad parent. That’s not what parenting is about. However, if you’re going to have them in your home you need to be responsible with it. I leave my firearm loaded with a round in the chamber, at all times. If it’s not loaded, it does me no good. It’s a glorified paper weight. To be safe with a firearm you need to do a few things.

First, keep it out of reach. Duh. Big duh. You could keep it on your belt line, that’s one of the safest options. It’s a well-known fact that all home invasions happen at home. If you don’t want to keep it on your belt line you could get a nightstand safe. There are literally tons of different brands and types. We had a biometric (fingerprint scanner) safe for a while and it would take upwards of 10 swipes of our fingers to get into the safe! Those are precious seconds that matter in a critical situation. We ended up getting a Hornady Security Rapid Gun Safe. It has 3 different methods of entry; a proxy card, a push-button combination and if you pop the panel off it has a key entry. It sits on our nightstand and it’s a great way to keep a firearm handy and keep little hands off of it. It’s a great tool for having firearms in the home that we use daily.


Most of the time I carry on my waist line. However, on occasion (normally Sunday’s when I’m wearing a dress) I carry in my purse. Either way, when I get home my firearm goes on top of our fridge. I know that no matter what our kids do, that they can’t reach it up there. But, we take extra measures to safeguard our firearms. It’s part of being that responsible adult I keep talking about. We teach our children not to touch a firearm unless we are right there. We teach our children not to EVER get into mama’s purse. I’m very picky about this. I have my bag; the kids have their diaper bag. It makes me feel like I’m not just a Sherpa.  We keep our firearms holstered in a good, solid, kydex holster that has a tight retention. I know that my boys can’t get the firearm out of the holster if all my other safe guard fails. My last safe guard is knowing where my kids are and what they’re doing. Again, that whole ‘being a responsible parent’ deal.


Be a responsible parent and teach your kids about firearms if you’re going to keep them in the house. Our son knows that if he asks to see it that we will show him. He will watch us unload it, he will watch us put the ammo and magazine away, he watches us check to see if it’s clear and he sees that it’s clear also. He also has to recite the 4 firearm safety rules before he can touch it. Do we leave him with the firearm to play with? Absolutely not! We are right there making sure that he follows the safety rules and we talk about it. We answer questions. We take the taboo away from it. It’s just a tool, just like a hammer. We feel that this will help him later in life. When parents make something taboo (like drinking, R rated movies, drugs etc) what’s the first thing that kids do when they have the chance? THEY DO THE TABOO THING!  We want to take the taboo away so when he’s at his friend’s house, if a firearm comes into the picture, he can take control of that situation and/or know to leave. Firearms are not toys. They need to be respected. Teach your kids to respect the tool and respect the lives that it can save.


This entire concept revolves around the mindset OF THE PARENTS. It’s the parents who are responsible for teaching their kids about firearms. It’s the parents who are responsible for instructing their children on when and how to use them appropriately. It’s the parents who are responsible for using common sense. Do you catch my drift here? It’s not about the kids; IT’S ABOUT THE PARENTS.


Let me ask you this: Where are your kitchen knives located in your kitchen? Probably in a drawer or on the counter right? What’s stopping your kids from getting one and stabbing themselves in the hand? You’ve taught them not to right? Right! How many electrical sockets can you see from where you’re sitting? What’s stopping your kids from sticking a fork in there? You’ve taught them not too! What about the hammer in your utility closet? What’s stopping your child from getting it and hitting their younger sibling in the head? You’ve taught them not too! When we apply these concepts to firearms we can see that they’re the same across the board. We need to teach our children. Instruct them on how to use this tool efficiently, respectfully and correctly.


What we need to learn is that a firearm is just a tool. Just like a fire extinguisher, a saw, a hammer and a vehicle. People are what makes bad things happen. The heart of man can be a wicked, evil thing. But it’s the heart of man that makes tools do bad things. The hammer doesn’t get up and hammer things without someone operating it. The same concept applies to firearms. It’s not the gun itself. It can’t (physically can NOT) go bang by itself without someone pulling the trigger. There are statistical anomalies but they’re so rare they’re almost not even worth mentioning.


Be a responsible person. Get training. Exercise safety. Follow the 4 firearm safety rules and everything will be fine.

Firearm safety rules:

  1. All guns are always loaded.
  2. Never point the gun at something you don’t want to destroy.
  3. Keep your finger straight and off the trigger until your sites are on target and you’re ready to fire.
  4. Be sure of your target; what’s in front of it and what’s behind it.

Teach your kids folks. Teach them the sanctity of life. Teach the power of the human heart. Teach them that tools are just tools.





Stay Tuned for the next myth, “I don’t need a holster if I carry in my purse.”

Mil-Spec Mom

Nila is an Army Wife, mother of two boys, and a firearms instructor. She is currently pursuing a double masters in Homeland Security & Emergency Disaster Management, while trying to balance the daily life of being a SAHM/WAHM. She loves ice cream and learning about self-defense as a mother. For more info please click the "About Mil-Spec Mom" tab at the top.